Marriage Isn’t a License to Mistreat

So this post probably feels out of place, but in many respects it isn’t. It also has nothing to do with my own marriage, which I will say very openly is based on trust and respect.  Perhaps in that way, it does have to with my marriage as that’s the basis for how I feel about this.


Driving today, I heard a question on the radio tied to a case where a woman had claimed her husband had raped her, and the DJs were asking if it can still be rape if you’re married. The callers were all falling on the same side of the equation, and the DJs agreed that, yes, it absolutely, can be.

I wanted to share my thoughts on the question as I think it’s absurd to even have to ask, and I’m sure that, while they may not have called in, there are people out there who feel it isn’t rape.

[tweet_box design=”box_12_at” author=”newbodies”]#Marriage is not a right to own, mistreat, make someone subservient or inferior to you.[/tweet_box]

It is, in fact, the total opposite. It’s a commitment to stand by someone, to empower someone, to support someone, to lift up and praise someone, to believe in someone, to trust and be trusted by someone, to be in awe of someone’s inner self no matter what.

It sounds obvious, but unfortunately, it isn’t, or there wouldn’t be cases of people disrespecting their spouse in such egregious ways.

Now some may push back and say that a particular marriage is dysfunctional, or that the victim brought it on themselves by doing or not doing something. That just means the marriage isn’t working and either needs to be fixed or ended. It doesn’t suddenly justify an act like this (or infidelity, or anything else even remotely along the same lines).

So why am I posting about this? First, I feel very strongly on the subject. But secondly, it fits in here because how we treat others is often tied to how we treat and feel about ourselves. How can you empower, support and love someone else if deep down, you don’t feel that toward yourself?

[tweet_box design=”box_12_at” author=”newbodies”]How can you #empower, #support & #love someone if deep down you don’t #loveyourself?[/tweet_box]

If you want to be truly happy, you have to work on your feelings about yourself. Be truly proud of who you are and what you’re doing. And extend that pride to those you love and have close to you in your life. And then treat them with that pride.

Pride. Respect. Honor. Love. Support. All crucial to enlighten.your.body.

About bryan falchuk

bryan falchuk is the founder of, a certified personal trainer, behavior change specialist and the best-selling author of "Do a Day". bryan coaches people on their whole health - the physical, mental and emotional combination of wellness that we need to thrive and change our lives.

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